A Mother’s Prayer

First published on Facebook March 5, 2011. Edited slightly today for small changes I’ve made since then.

On Facebook several months ago, someone posed the question, “What do you wish for your children?” Excellent question.

My oldest son was already five or six by that point, and I wasn’t sure if I knew what I considered to be essential for my kids. I had an idea, but I had not boiled it down to the essence. That’s the great thing about having children. It forces you to get clear – crystal clear – about what you value and to live by those same values.

And I got to thinking that whatever I wish for my children is what I ought to be praying for my children. After all, a wish is a prayer. And a prayer is a thought that turns into words that turns into action and maybe reality. At least there is a better chance of it turning into reality than what is not articulated in prayer.

Now, I’ve been a Christian all my life but not a very good one. I’m not a gifted, Bible-verse-quoting one. I stumble around as far as Christians go. The discipline in my prayer is lacking severely so I’ve been working on it. But this question about what I wish for my children has tumbled around in my head enough that I’ve built a prayer around it. I worked on it and worked on it, until it felt real to me and had a natural, meditative cadence.

milada-vigerova-36934-unsplashI have no idea if my prayer is a good, worthy, humble one. But I have high hopes for my children, which means I lift up my prayer to God who listens and grants us what we need in His time according to His will. I don’t have a lot of patience, so this has been a tough lesson for me personally, but that’s just the way it is. His time, his way.

I would often recite this prayer in my car on the way to work, one run-through for each child, then for my husband, and then for a few other people as my heart so moved me. Every now and then I insert a special petition for whatever else my loved ones may be going through in life. For purposes of sharing, however, I’ll refer to them collectively. Here is my prayer.


It isn’t enough for me to simply share the prayer. I want to share how to came to find these words. Just as there is poetry and deep meaning behind each word of the Lord’s Prayer, each phrase of my prayer has an expanded meaning, at least to me. So here it goes:

God bless them: this is a simple appeal to God to grant His blessings upon my beautiful children in whatever form He wishes.

God bless them and keep them safe from harm: I scares me to think of the evil in the world, and safety of our children has become such a screamingly real issue these many years, so I ask for His blessings again and beseech Him to project my precious children, please.

May they grow strong:  strong in spirit, emotional fortitude, physical strength. Life on this earth requires stamina. I want them to always build upon this strength: body, mind and soul.

May they live long: let them experience the fullness of a long life and live to see their children’s children.

Happy, and healthy: and may that life be foremost a happy one, and then a healthy one.  Since it has taken me quite a while to recapture happiness and health is not something I have mastered, I wish for this first. No matter what else happens in life, what bigger blessings could I hope for my children?

Wealthy: maybe it’s a bit much to ask that they be blessed with wealth, but I’m going to ask anyway. I don’t mean I want the wealth of a millionaire for them; I just don’t want them to struggle with money issues…and if wealth means nothing more than an accumulation of grace here for the riches of God’s kingdom later, I’ll take it.

And wise: may they be fair and knowledgeable and gracious and balanced and live with perspective on the good and bad that inevitably come with life. Wise can mean so many things, and maybe it too is a bit much to ask but I don’t want any of our kids to be naive. I want them to know their way in this world, and maybe guide others.

May they always know love: love in its purest form, starting unconditionally and forever with us, their parents. But let love envelop them from all angles – siblings, grandmother, aunts, uncles, Godparents, cousins, teachers and friends. And then, when they leave home, may they still be surrounded by the love of good friends and be directed toward their soulmates. May they never let anyone stomp on their hearts; may they always seek out and be surrounded by the purest love. And then, when each has found the love of his or her life, may our children know the love of a child of their own, one or more as they choose. I want them to always know love in their lives. It doesn’t matter how many people are involved, only the quality and constant presence of that love. I have ached with prolonged loneliness for years on end; it is my wish that my children never know this feeling.

May they find joy and passion in life: I know life will come with inevitable sorrows, but we must actively cultivate the joy.  I want them to find it, keep it, sustain it. And passion – ah, that’s a loaded word. But I hope each child finds something that will interest them, jazz them so much that time stands still and it doesn’t feel like work. What a joy that will be! I truly believe they go hand in hand. This is another area where I personally have pecked along, unsure of what brought me joy with no one to guide me in that discovery, and then I was blocked from it when I found it. It is my job as a mother to help my children discover their inherent joy, talents and passions and help bring them to fruition.

May it uplift them and all those around them: joy and passion can take all kinds of forms but I don’t mean self-serving, self-destructive, incurred-at-the-expense-of-others joy and passion. I mean the kind of joy and passion that does nothing but uplift their spirit and that of everyone around them. Happy, positive, life-affirming, wholesome joy and passion. Filling-the-bucket joy and passion. That kind of joy and passion.

May their thoughts, words, and deeds be positive, confident, and kind: may what they think turn into what they say and turn into action. May they dwell on the positive instead of relentlessly focusing on the negative. May they find confidence deep within themselves and let it shine. And please, Lord, let them be kind to one another, to those they meet in this journey of life, and to themselves.

And may they give thanks for their blessings all the days of their life: we practice gratitude in our house, and I hope this is something they carry in their heart always and express and teach others to do the same.

For this I pray: Yes, for this I pray. This is what I pray, beseech of the Lord, want for all my children, and will actively work toward, doing whatever I can to make it a reality.

Amen:  It is so, so be it, let it be.  That is the definition of amen, after all.

The joy and love I have for all three of my children knows no end.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

New Year Blessings


Image courtesy of Ian Schneider on Unsplash.com

Wishing you all a wonderful 2018. It’s my sincere hope that you be happy, healthy, and prosperous in the new year. Count your many blessings.

Following the example of a relative of mine, I thought I’d recap the top highlights of 2017 concluding today. Earlier this afternoon we held our family meeting, the Louie Scoop, and recounted 219 celebrations we acknowledged as a family over the year.


Items both big and small. It brought smiles to our faces to remember the wonderful things that happened. In a year when so many crummy things can bring us down, whether it is the state of politics (I’m really struggling with this), natural disasters (how horrific), or other matters of chance that bring bad luck, it’s imperative that we remember the things that make us happy and bring joy. They are everywhere.

So here’s my personal year in review…and an attempt to look at the bright side of things…COUNT MY BLESSINGS.

1) Celebrating my 50th birthday first with family at one of my all-time favorite restaurants Gervasi Vineyard, then with my husband on a last-minute cruise to the Bahamas, beating the hurricane the entire time. Relatively healthy and happy. Living in a warm, welcoming home in a charming, safe, small town. Blessed beyond measure with my family. Working professionally in a job that I mostly enjoy at a good company.

2) Traveling with my oldest son to Seattle for a special mom-son getaway. Eating dinner at the Space Needle, catching the Seattle Sounders play, and seeing the Terra Cotta Warriors in person at the Pacific Science Center. It was so good we may make it an annual event each year he is in high school.

3) Celebrating a dear friend’s successful battle against ovarian cancer with a girls’ weekend trip to Bedford Springs. You MUST celebrate moments like that.

4) Connecting and reconnecting with so many friends this year, most involving travel and trips of some kind…a high school friend I haven’t seen in over 30 years. A couple of friends from my Pittsburgh days that I have lost touch with over the years. A couple of friends locally whose friendships have strengthened. Thank you all. You have no idea how you warmed my heart and I hope that I can return the favor. After years of intense loneliness and honestly wondering why can’t I be “normal”, it was a huge relief to just be me around these friends of mine, not having to worry about putting on an act, if I’m talking too much, or not enough, or wondering if I’m likable enough…. These friends of mine, God bless them, love me for exactly who I am. What a gift!

5) Taking that amazing 9-day California trip we took with the kids to Los Angeles and San Diego in the summer. I didn’t think I’d enjoy LA since I didn’t particularly love it during my prior work trips out there but through the lens of my kids it was incredible. How I love the internet and the ability to search where to go at the touch of a button! True to form, I reconnected with a couple of other friends I haven’t seen in years (I kinda do have friends all over the country). We jammed so much into that time: the film studios, Hollywood, USC and UCLA, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica Pier, Zuma & Huntington Beaches, the USS Midland, San Diego Zoo, and Coronado…and it was incredible. Tried an AirBNB condo for the first time in LA and it was huge, clean, tastefully appointed, the right price, centrally located, just PERFECT. Breaks my heart to think about how much of this area was caught up in the wildfires…

6) Watching our kids excel in something they love. The oldest playing snare in the marching band as a freshman, our daughter dancing her heart out and performing her first duet, the youngest learning the piano and loving every second….and performing an accidental solo without missing a beat (since we forgot his music book at home and I  didn’t realize he was performing at all that day!)

7) Having Easter dinner with my three siblings and three cousins at one cousins’ home for the first time together in 40 years. Our mothers were sisters and we seven cousins may as well have been siblings, we spent so much time together. This was true until I turned 10, when my aunt died. Most of my cousins and siblings are much older than me, so they were adults then or almost adults. Two of the cousins and two sibs moved away, then it was my turn. So not only did we have a death to change the family dynamic, we had distance to do it too. Now all of our parents are long gone, and most of us have married with kids of our own, and now some grandkids in the bunch. I don’t know how many of us gathered at the home….40-some people? Tables everywhere. Some tears of remembrance. It was pretty old school and awesome having the seven of us cousins all together like that, like we haven’t really done in 40-some years. Plus watching my brother and my youngest play baseball together was priceless.

8) Welcoming one of my nephews back to Pittsburgh from Colorado just last week. He moved away for college, traveled in Europe, moved to Austin, and then Loveland for the 13 years or so. As an extended family we get together for holidays but there were many times he wasn’t there, and I definitely felt his absence….I’m so glad he’s back among family and we can see him more.

9) Finally buying a new car, a white Honda CRV after nine years of driving Rocket, my red Jeep Patriot (Rocket was named by my oldest, using Little Einsteins as his inspiration…) . “Puff Betty” is her name, a mash-up of contributions provided by my kids and friends.  “Puff” because being white, the car reminds my kids of a cloud. “Betty White” was the suggestion of my friend. I decided to pull a Sean Combs and call her Puff Betty. My heart was originally set on “Bianca” which is white in Italian but I decided that a Honda CRV wasn’t nearly sexy enough for that kinda name. Maybe one of these days I’ll drive a sports car and name her Bianca or something even better.

10) Starting this blog. 33 followers so far after three months. I warned you guys I would be all over the place in terms of what I write about. Hopefully you like what you’ve seen so far.

So take a moment and count your blessings from this past year. Wish a happy new year to the people you love the most. Kiss. Hug. Mean it. And give 2018 all you’ve got!