The Soul of our Country

element5-digital-1126261-unsplash

Tomorrow is Election Day in our country. I’m genuinely surprised I haven’t broken out in a rash by now. This has been the longest two years for our country. I didn’t think this day would get here. I also hoped it wouldn’t take 24 months for a referendum of sorts on our current administration, but here we are.

It appears to me that voter registration is up, the number of those who voted early is up, the number of young people who otherwise sit out elections but are planning to vote this time is up, and the disgust level with politicians is also up. I hope this bodes well for our democratic process but I’ve gotten my hopes up before, two years ago to be exact.

I don’t know what I can say here about my disgust with the direction Donald Trump has taken our country that hasn’t already been said by so many others more eloquent than me. I can only hope that a majority of Americans feel the same way.

These last few days I’ve seen many posts by people who plan to vote a straight Democratic ticket for the first time in their life. I don’t know if that’s because more people plan to do it or I’ve blocked out the people who wouldn’t dare.

Part of me wishes a “blue wave”, the likes we’ve never seen before, would sweep this country tomorrow but I honestly don’t know. The likelihood of Russian interference in this election is pretty high, and our current administration knows that it is in their favor to allow it to happen. Vladimir Putin loves to sow discord throughout the world so we play a little less attention to what he does. His evil ambition knows no limits.

Very few things actually scare me. Losing one or more of my children? Check. Losing my health, my mobility or my wits? Check. Dying in a plane crash? Check. Being on the receiving end of a crazed, angry right-winger with a gun? Check.

That last one wasn’t even a remote possibility until recently but it’s pretty clear that America is doing a great job of creating home-grown terrorists using the same tactics of Al Qaeda and ISIS. Find a bunch of ignorant (white) men with nothing better going for them, instill fear in them over all they think they will lose, desensitize them from placing any value on the lives of others, give them weapons, and convince them they’ll be martyrs for the cause.

Really. It’s the exact same playbook. It works.

The biggest threat to Americans is angry, ignorant, white American men with guns.

A caravan of Central Americans 800 miles from our southern border, risking all to flee violence doesn’t scare me. Gay men and lesbian women wanting to love and marry the person of their choice doesn’t scare me. Anybody with a different religion than mine living peacefully and making a successful living in our country doesn’t scare me. People from the Middle East wanting to flee violence in their own country and make it here, even despite the mistrust so many Americans have against them doesn’t scare me. Anyone wanting to live in peace is ok by me. And for those coming from outside of our country, we have checks and controls in place to vet them and their intentions. Those processes work.

My fellow Americans are beginning to scare me, though. Their ignorance, apathy, and greed scare me. Trump scares, horrifies, and disgusts me. Republicans in office? They scare the bejesus outta me. Trump and anyone who refuses to renounce him have sold their souls to the devil, in ignorance, fear, greed, or all of the above. It has become that binary, that black and white, for me.

This election is a fight for the soul of our country, a reckoning on a massive scale. I don’t know which way the United States will go. I hope we lean toward peace, love, tolerance, and progress, but I really don’t know what the soul of this country is anymore.

Holding my breath, even though everybody knows it’s better to breathe instead.

PS – still holding.

Image by Element5 Digital on Unsplash