The Day After

Oh, America. Do I even know you anymore? Those first 50 years of my life…were you just courting me, on your best behavior all that time? But now, you’re letting your true colors shine?

evan-brockett-624367-unsplashI’m disappointed in the election results, I’ll be honest. I wanted to believe that most Americans were thoroughly disgusted with the direction Trump has taken this country and a true blue wave would overtake Congress but of course, results on this day after show how Republicans still control the Senate. I guess I didn’t follow it closely enough to know how many Senate seats were up for grabs this year and likely to actually flip. I knew it wasn’t many, but still. Texans are actually sending smarmy Ted Cruz back to the Senate? Seriously?

It is nevertheless encouraging to learn that 100 women will sit in the House of Representatives, including a respectable increase in minority women of race, ethnicity, and creed. It’s about time. Maybe one day I’ll actually see women in the majority in the House, but I’ll take this historic win for now.

Trump has wasted no time, has he? Holding a ridiculous, disrespectful, sneering, self-congratulating press conference, facing a press corps that doesn’t call bullshit on his boldface lies, more lies perpetrated by the White House regarding CNN reporter Jim Acosta’s line of questioning today, accusing him of assaulting an aide when video clearly shows the aide attempting to yank the microphone from Jim’s hands. He never laid a hand on her. Jeff Sessions getting fired or offering his resignation. Ha, I had even added an entry in our family calendar weeks and weeks ago, to remind me that Trump would do that today (2nd line down in the picture provided). Not to forget the immediate img_0384-2appointment of an individual who is a threat to the Mueller investigation.

The current president, his posturing, and his lies are so predictable. And so, I suppose, was the outcome of this election. I had truly hoped America would crawl out from under its rock and emerge as the leader of the free world once again. I wanted to show the world that we do have a better nature and have returned to it. I wanted to restore the world’s faith in us and our ability to lead the way. Instead we collectively emboldened the evil in the White House.

My God, they should burn the place down after he’s out of there. He has desecrated it that much.

I have friends who are hopeful. I try so hard to be hopeful, to be positive, but I just don’t know anymore. I feel like America showed me her true nature. Floridians, Georgians, Texans, and Ohioans told me they prefer hate, fear, and greed in their governors. I don’t know that I want to live here anymore but I don’t know where to go.

In closing, I’ll share this poem offered up by my friend Teresa. I found the words to be powerful. I needed them. Maybe you do too.

Oh, my dear ones.
I know you were hoping
For a once-and-done.
For an earthquake,
A tidal wave.
Hoping that if we gave it our all,
A single push would be enough.
That after this, we could
Sink
Back into complacency,
Back into the comfort of our privilege.
I confess, in the secret corners of my heart,
I wanted to believe it could be that easy
That justice would emerge as from an egg
Fully grown
Not with wet down and weak wings…

But beloveds,
We are chipping away at a mountain,
Not a boulder.
Calcified structures
Created to oppress,
Control,
Kill.
2000 years of this stupid idea
That some are worthy,
Some deserve power by virtue of who they are.

Erosion is slow work, sweethearts.
Celebrate the progress
The triumphs.
Celebrate also the heartbreaking almosts.
Breathe.
Rest for a time.
Then get up and turn again toward kindness,
Toward your neighbor in need,
Toward those who are still trapped in the stone.
Tell them, “I won’t give up.”
Tell them, “I am with you.”
Tell them, “For you, I will learn to eat rocks.”
“For you, I will keep chewing, keep grinding,
Until the mountain crumbles to dust.”

-Elizabeth Stevens

Photo by Evan Brockett on Unsplash

The Soul of our Country

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Tomorrow is Election Day in our country. I’m genuinely surprised I haven’t broken out in a rash by now. This has been the longest two years for our country. I didn’t think this day would get here. I also hoped it wouldn’t take 24 months for a referendum of sorts on our current administration, but here we are.

It appears to me that voter registration is up, the number of those who voted early is up, the number of young people who otherwise sit out elections but are planning to vote this time is up, and the disgust level with politicians is also up. I hope this bodes well for our democratic process but I’ve gotten my hopes up before, two years ago to be exact.

I don’t know what I can say here about my disgust with the direction Donald Trump has taken our country that hasn’t already been said by so many others more eloquent than me. I can only hope that a majority of Americans feel the same way.

These last few days I’ve seen many posts by people who plan to vote a straight Democratic ticket for the first time in their life. I don’t know if that’s because more people plan to do it or I’ve blocked out the people who wouldn’t dare.

Part of me wishes a “blue wave”, the likes we’ve never seen before, would sweep this country tomorrow but I honestly don’t know. The likelihood of Russian interference in this election is pretty high, and our current administration knows that it is in their favor to allow it to happen. Vladimir Putin loves to sow discord throughout the world so we play a little less attention to what he does. His evil ambition knows no limits.

Very few things actually scare me. Losing one or more of my children? Check. Losing my health, my mobility or my wits? Check. Dying in a plane crash? Check. Being on the receiving end of a crazed, angry right-winger with a gun? Check.

That last one wasn’t even a remote possibility until recently but it’s pretty clear that America is doing a great job of creating home-grown terrorists using the same tactics of Al Qaeda and ISIS. Find a bunch of ignorant (white) men with nothing better going for them, instill fear in them over all they think they will lose, desensitize them from placing any value on the lives of others, give them weapons, and convince them they’ll be martyrs for the cause.

Really. It’s the exact same playbook. It works.

The biggest threat to Americans is angry, ignorant, white American men with guns.

A caravan of Central Americans 800 miles from our southern border, risking all to flee violence doesn’t scare me. Gay men and lesbian women wanting to love and marry the person of their choice doesn’t scare me. Anybody with a different religion than mine living peacefully and making a successful living in our country doesn’t scare me. People from the Middle East wanting to flee violence in their own country and make it here, even despite the mistrust so many Americans have against them doesn’t scare me. Anyone wanting to live in peace is ok by me. And for those coming from outside of our country, we have checks and controls in place to vet them and their intentions. Those processes work.

My fellow Americans are beginning to scare me, though. Their ignorance, apathy, and greed scare me. Trump scares, horrifies, and disgusts me. Republicans in office? They scare the bejesus outta me. Trump and anyone who refuses to renounce him have sold their souls to the devil, in ignorance, fear, greed, or all of the above. It has become that binary, that black and white, for me.

This election is a fight for the soul of our country, a reckoning on a massive scale. I don’t know which way the United States will go. I hope we lean toward peace, love, tolerance, and progress, but I really don’t know what the soul of this country is anymore.

Holding my breath, even though everybody knows it’s better to breathe instead.

PS – still holding.

Image by Element5 Digital on Unsplash